Posted by: mdegeorge | June 21, 2011

Does a bear drink the (Fox)woods? It does if it’s from Boston

When it comes to hard partying, I think it’s safe to say that most of us assume the NBA has the advantage over the NHL. After all, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban did drop $110,000 dollars, $90,000 of which came on a 15-liter bottle of Ace of Spades Midas champagne that the billionaire owner shared with key contributors Dirk Nowtizki, Jason Terry, Brian Cardinal and Shawn Marion during an all-night party in Miami. The bottle, which is roughly the size of J.J. Berea, makes even Finals MVP Nowitzki look small.

But those Canadians and Eastern Europeans that hoisted a Stanley Cup with the Boston Bruins can hold their own in the adult beverage department.

The team, from youngsters Brad Marchand to Tyler Seguin (who incidentally is 19 and not allowed to drink here in the States) to elder statesman and three-time Cup winner Mark Recchi, took to Shrine, a club at Foxwoods casino, where it ran up a comically-precise tab of $156,679.74, the itemized bill of which the Boston Globe has a picture of.

The Stanley Cup champs one-upped Cuban, flashing the cash for a relatively cut-price 30-liter bottle of Midas champagne, which only ran them $100,000 and was so big that Slovak giant Zdeno Chara reportedly had trouble opening it. And the Bruins had the edge in party accoutrements, since it had this cool Cup to drink out of.

It’s not all greed and gluttony (though it is roughly the amount of money I spent on four years of college tuition or my total earnings until I’m in my late 20 slurped up in a number of stumbling hours). Yes the 30-liter Midas was only one of six in existence in the world. But the empty bottle – if something that size is still considered a bottle – was signed by the certainly intoxicated partygoers and will be displayed at the club before being auction for charity at some date in the future.

Some other itemized observations of the tab:

– The Midas bottle wasn’t the only patronage of the Ace of Spades, or Armand de Brignac, brand patronized by the Bs. The also ran through an $800 bottle, four bottles of Ace Roseè at $1200 each, and two $2000 Ace MAGs. That was in addition to 20 $200 bottles of Moet Imperial and three Moet Splits at $18 a pop (how’d those get in there?)

– I wonder who exactly were the guys ordering the Corona, Heineken Light and Amstel Light. If they’re players, their names should be kept off the Cup.

– From the unsafe drinking files, the tab also included 136 Bud Lights, 20-some bottles of vodka (with 36 Red Bulls, of course) and a 35 Jaeger bombs. The fact that there were no casualties, regardless of how many people were partaking in this, is extraordinary.

– To temper the dangerous drinking, the team did spring for 67 bottles of Fiji water at an outrageous $4 each. That still would’ve been like trying to put out a 12-alarm fire with thimbles full water. We’ll assume for legal regions that Seguin was keeping himself well-hydrated with the Fiji.

– At least the Bruins did go top shelf (and not just on Roberto Luongo time and again). The tab includes $300 bottles of Grey Goose, Crown Royal and Captain Morgan (didn’t know that existed) and $350 bottles of Ciroc and Johnny Walker Black. The table must have looked like a sloppy duty-free shop.

– I don’t know who Danielle is, but she had a good night, bagging a $24,689.80 tip, which unless she was a multitalented and well-built octopus, I’m assuming she had to split a few ways with her co-workers. Still, not a bad night, I would think.

– The casino provided the team with one complimentary bottle of champagne. ONE! I guess no one would have noticed it in the carbonated fermented grape torrents headed their way anyway, but still looks a bit cheap.

– I know the $100 k bottle of champagne skews the total upward. But the team still spent over $9,000 on liquor, over $13,000 on other wine/champagne, and $7,000 in tax. Heck they spent $744 in beer – which granted at those exorbitant prices was about 100 beers – but still a decent total for anything other than a Penn State frat house.

– You think the state of Massachusetts is mad that this once-in-four-decades economic stimulus?

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